Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
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Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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