She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
