Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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