I'm so fucking centered right now
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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