hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
