if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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