Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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