Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
