Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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