Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
