last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
