I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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