dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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