So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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