Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
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Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
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Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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