What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
