Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
North Korea, Best Korea!
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
