saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
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This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
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Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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