im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
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Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
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There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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