Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
