Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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