Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
