Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
These tits shall not be calmed
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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