oh god the rape fog is back!
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Holy sore nipples Batman
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
