That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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