I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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