dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
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