Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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