You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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