grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
