2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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