Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
It all started with a game of naked twister.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
