I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
