How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
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Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
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Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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