Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I still have a little drunk in my system
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
