Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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