He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
