There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
