He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
