i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
