Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
