He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
