why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
