i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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