My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
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by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
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Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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