ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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