dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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