You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
the day after is always just damage control
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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