Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
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