he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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