The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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