Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i wish my penis had a tongue
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
