Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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