Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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