she looked like the before picture.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
