and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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